


A Scandal in the Bathrooms

by MoonlightBlizzard



Series: Shinkai Hogwarts AU [2]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Consensual Underage Sex, Established Relationship, M/M, No matter how adult sixth-years seemed to be at Hogwarts, Riding, Technically they are both underaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:35:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightBlizzard/pseuds/MoonlightBlizzard
Summary: Since he had gained the privilege of using the fifth floor Prefects Bathroom last year, Shinichi had made sure to use it often. After all, what’s the point in being a Prefect if he couldn’t enjoy some extra amenities, such as the gorgeous, luxurious pool-slash-bathtub with one hundred bubble selections, rock-solid excuse for his ‘night patrols’, and intimate knowledge of (almost) every nook, cranny, and corridors in Hogwarts. Being a Prefect was a stressful job, after all. He needed some relaxation time.
Relationships: Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Series: Shinkai Hogwarts AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598596
Comments: 8
Kudos: 108





	A Scandal in the Bathrooms

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING! THIS ONE IS EXPLICIT, OKAY? Please read at your own discretion. I love this AU so much, and have so many ideas from it. Here’s another one, basically a luxury toilet appreciation fic. Hope you guys enjoy it!

The first thing Shinichi said to Kaito after his enthusiastic announcement was; “Oh, you can legally use the bathroom now!”

Their friends didn’t quite register the comment, though the newly appointed Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain did. Kaito shot him a dirty look. Shinichi just grinned sheepishly, and pulled his boyfriend in for a kiss, trying to placate the irritated boy.

“Congratulations, baby! I knew it would be you!”

“We’re so gonna win this year’s Cup!” Aoko gleefully cheered.

“Hey!” Heiji protested. “I got promoted too, you know! Some best friend you are, Kudou. Choosing the enemy over your own house! Shame on you!”

The Gryffindor Prefect just rolled his eyes. “I congratulated you already, you moron!”

Overall, it was a light-hearted banter, typical of their interactions. Shinichi really loved Hogwarts, as did most of the students studying there, he imagined. After all, what’s not to love about the old stone castle, with the most spectacular view, the grandness of the buildings, the daily school life of learning – he was a bit of a nerd, okay? – the countless nooks and crannies he could spent the rest of his live discovering and still finding new places, new details, new adventures… and don’t get him started on some magical features of the castle, like the fifth-floor Prefects’ bathroom.

He knew the existence of the bathroom from his parents, especially from his mother, who had gleefully regaled him of tales from their school days, much to his horror. Nobody ever wanted to hear how their mother lost her virginity, thank you very much! It was probably the most traumatizing conversation he ever had in his sixteen years on earth.

Granted, the bathroom was something else. Soft lights from the thousands of candles in the chandeliers made the white marbles shone and gave the room a warm, almost otherworldly glow. The magically-regulated water temperature always hit just that right spot between lukewarm and scalding. The white towels stacked at the end of the room was always warm and clean-smelling. He was sure the girls loved the selection of bath products. The mermaid in the gold-framed painting was a bit annoying, but he had grown used to ignoring her giggles, though she liked to make her presence known during the most… ehm, unfortunate times.

In the middle of the room was the fantastic bathtub. The pool-like bathtub was rectangular, sunk into the floor, and made of white marble, complete with a diving board at one end. It was big and deep enough he could swim in it if he wanted to, though the most important feature for him was the seats inside, where he could just sit back and relax. He knew the hundred golden faucets of different heights surrounding the pool was Kaito’s absolute favorite feature, though, both for the hundred selection of bubbles and foams they offered, and for the different types of gems on the handles. His boyfriend’s particular favorite is the Tanzanite one, which shot bubbles that bounce off the water’s surface and explode one meter over their heads like fireworks. Shinichi would never admit to anyone that before Kaito’s passionate rant about the different types of gems in the bathroom, all he ever thought about them was; the blue ones, the red ones, the green ones, the yellow ones, and some miscellaneous colors.

Not that he would ever admit to anyone that Kaito had used the bathroom long before he had the rights to do so, anyway. Or that they used it _together_.

It all started innocently enough. After Satou-sensei, their Deputy Headmistress and Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, had gathered all the newly-appointed Prefects back in the beginning of his fifth year at Hogwarts, she had given them a list of their duties in her strict, no-nonsense way, and almost as an afterthought, said, “Oh, yes. And you get the privilege to use the Prefects’ bathroom. It’s behind the fourth door to the left from the statue of Boris the Bewildered. This year’s password is Minty Clean. That’s all, ladies and gentlemen. Remember to work hard and do your duties. You’re dismissed.”

Having heard all about the illustrious bathroom from his over-excited mother all summer, he wasted no time and went to investigate the next morning. The first time he opened the hidden door to reveal the white-marbled glory, he froze, extremely impressed despite growing up in a magical mansion. Then he saw the gems on the faucets, and immediately thought, ‘I gotta show this to Kaito.’

And, as suspected, Kaito fell in love with the bathroom at first sight.

“Look at this!” the Ravenclaw practically squealed as he played around with the different faucets. The one he currently was trying out had a square yellow gem on top of it, and produced a thin lilac smoke that settled over the water’s surface, perfumed with distinctly floral scents.

Shinichi smiled indulgently. His boyfriend looked particularly radiant under the soft lights from the candles, glowing with joy and excitement.

“Shinichi, you have to let me bathe here!” Kaito demanded.

The Prefect just laughed. “Kaito, you know how to find this room… you know the password… you know you’re going to do what you want anyway. You don’t need permission from me.”

Kaito shot him a mischievous, shark-like grin. “Is that an attempt of getting plausible deniability I hear?”

Shinichi lifted his nose in the air. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure,” Kaito smirked. “You definitely _didn’t_ show me how to get into the bathroom, nor tell me the password…”

“That’s right,” Shinichi said with a solemn nod, though a smile threatened to ruin his faux serious look. “I was just walking around the corridors with you, but then I had to pee, and this bathroom is the closest. It’s not my fault you have eyes and ears, I simply couldn’t hold it in, you see.”

Kaito broke into a laugh. “Everyone knows I have terrible impulse control anyway.”

“And an innate love for all things shiny,” Shinichi added fondly. It was the reason he showed the bathroom to Kaito in the first place. Shinichi knew, from when he finally spent some time during the previous summer in the Muggle world visiting his boyfriend’s family, that Kaito inherited his father’s enthusiasm for gems. “Mr. School Trickster. I wonder if Megure-sensei appointed me as a Prefect partly in hopes of reining you in?”

“If only he knew you practically masterminded some of my best tricks,” Kaito sighed, full of nostalgia. “Have I told you how much I love your idea with the Titter Tincture?”

“Only about a million times.”

“It’s worth repeating.”

“And he definitely knows. Megure-sensei, I mean,” Shinichi elaborated. “I doubt there’s much in this school he didn’t know about. I don’t think we had been that subtle. I had a suspicion he wrote to Dad about it. Dad’s been dropping hints all summer, but maybe it’s just me being paranoid.”

Kaito blanched a little at the mention of Kudou Yuusaku. He had a healthy dose of fear mixed in with respect for the author. It originated from what he insisted was a ‘normal reaction to meeting your boyfriend’s parents, Shinichi! _My_ dad is very laid-back, and you’re overly confident anyway!’ and what went down during Kaito’s first meeting with the Kudou family.

“Knowing your dad, I’m betting on he really knows.”

“My Dad isn’t all-knowing, Kaito, nor is he a Diviner. In fact, I’ve seen his school reports. His Divination was so horrible he dropped the subject after only one semester of learning it.”

Kaito smiled, amused despite himself. “Still, he’s freakishly observant.”

Shinichi just shrugged. “I’m betting it’s nepotism.”

“What?”

“Why Megure-sensei picked me as Prefect,” Shinichi explained. “He’s a very close friend with Dad, and he had actually told me he owed a lot to Dad, so…”

Kaito rolled his eyes. “Shinichi. You are hardworking, kind, has a strong moral compass, you’re good with the juniors. You’re a perfect choice! Granted you may made some mistakes in your life like getting involved with me, but…”

“You’re not a mistake, Kaito,” Shinichi cut in, eyes blazing. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He knew his boyfriend had some issues with his own self-worth, probably stemming from the fact that his mother left him while he was still barely a toddler. Shinichi secretly held a deep resentment of Kuroba Chikage, exacerbated in moments like this when Kaito was being self-depreciating.

Kaito, predictably, just smiled and blushed. Shinichi suppressed a sigh, knowing that his boyfriend didn’t necessarily believe him.

“One day,” he vowed, “I’ll get you to believe me.”

Kaito looked at him with impossibly soft eyes. He didn’t say anything, but he got up from where he was crouched next to the faucets and reached for Shinichi, kissing him softly.

Shinichi kissed him back lazily, his hands gently circling Kaito’s waist and back, holding him close. But then Kaito nipped his bottom lip and parted his own, inviting Shinichi to explore his warm mouth, which Shinichi gladly did.

The kiss grew heated, soft pants filling the room.

“S-Shinichi,” Kaito panted, pulling back a little to stare at his boyfriend with half-lidded eyes. “You said only Prefects can use this bathroom, right?”

“W-well, and the Quidditch Captains…”

“Then…” Kaito leaned in to suck on Shinichi’s neck, “then… only about… thirty students have access here?”

“More or less, yeah.” Shinichi held back a moan, feeling a hickey forming.

Kaito pulled back with a pop and the heat in his gaze made Shinichi twitch. “This is a private bathroom then?”

The rest, as they said, was history.

They met up in the bathroom many times over their fifth year, and the habit continued now that they were in sixth year. Shinichi, being a Prefect, had an excuse of patrolling the corridors should anyone ask, not that anyone ever bothered. Kaito was a naturally sneaky little bastard, and he used all tricks in his arsenal to stealthily make his way to their rendezvous spot. They found out many more details about the bathroom, such as the fact that the door wouldn’t open if someone was inside – despite the feature nearly ruined one romantic candlelit dinner, they had long since grown to appreciate that nifty little detail. They also found out that the mermaid in the painting was actually a siren with an unpronounceable name, so they nicknamed her Serena, because Kaito insisted it was like a character in one of his Muggle movies.

They also found out that, unfortunately, all pipes in Hogwarts were connected to each other, one way or another.

It happened like this.

They were testing out the diving board, Shinichi laying on his back on it with Kaito on top of him, riding him. The extra bounce the board gave felt amazing, and Shinichi made a note to use that particular trick again in the future. Kaito’s ass squeezed his dick as he rode down, the board bending down with his weight and force before springing back up, bouncing Kaito quickly. Shinichi threw his head back, moaning. He forced his eyes open to look at Kaito, but what he saw instead was a pair of pale eyes, peeking out from the sewers.

Shinichi screamed, jolting upwards. Kaito, startled, slipped off the board and fell into the pool with a large splash. Shinichi, ignoring the slightly painful sensation of his pulled dick, reflexively grabbed his wand and sent a spark towards the sewers.

He had always been praised for his spellcasting accuracy.

The spark hit the grate and blew it open.

“HEY!” the peeping Tom squealed, before floating out to reveal a pale, ghost girl with big glasses, acne-filled face, and a pouting, indignant expression.

“M-Myrtle!”

Kaito resurfaced at that moment, sputtering and coughing up water. Shinichi immediately turned to him in concern, momentarily forgetting the nuisance.

“Kaito! You’re okay?” he reached for his boyfriend, pulling him to the edge and patting his back.

“’m fine,” Kaito coughed.

Shinichi was about to pull him up when he caught Myrtle shamelessly checking them out. Blushing, he jumped into the bubble-filled water right next to Kaito, hoping the thick foam was enough to preserve some semblance of modesty.

“Myrtle!” Kaito coughed. “What the hell?”

They had become unfortunately acquainted with the ghost back in their fourth year, when one of their adventuring sessions led them to the girls’ bathroom on the second floor. Shinichi hadn’t liked her, and had stayed away from her bathroom since then. The ghost had an unpleasant character, which shone through even more at that moment, as she was remorselessly ogling them.

“Don’t stop on my account,” she had the nerve to giggle. “You guys were great! Please, continue!”

“Myrtle!” Shinichi yelled, flushing in embarrassment and anger. “We’re not your personal porn channel!”

“Imagine my surprise,” the ghost chattered on, completely ignoring Shinichi. “There I was, minding my own business. I was sitting in the closet pipe, you see, when someone flushed it…”

“Ew,” Kaito scrunched his face. “I soooo do not need that image, thanks!”

Shinichi winced at his words, unwelcome images of Myrtle flushed together with bodily fluids racing through his mind.

“Why would you hang out _in_ the closet, anyway?”

“… and so I was travelling the pipes. Sometimes I do that when I’m bored. People hardly ever come to visit me…”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

“Shinichi, be nice,” Kaito scolded him, though their words fell on deaf ears as the ghost was completely ignoring them.

“… and then I heard _sounds_ ,” Myrtle paused, her eyes widening in an exaggerated emphasis. “Moans, totally porn-worthy.”

Shinichi grimaced.

“Imagine my surprise!” the ghost repeated. “There you are, naked bodies glistening with the water…”

“MYRTLE!”

“… making such _hot_ sounds… oooooooh!” Shinichi could swear her glasses glinted evilly for a moment there. “What a _naughty, naughty boy_ you are! You’re a Prefect, no less, Shinichi! Using your privilege like that… ooooh,” she paused dramatically. “What would people say?”

Shinichi’s eyes widened, the ghost’s implied threat clear. But before he could do so much as shot Kaito a panicked glance, his boyfriend had cut in, voice steady and calm.

“Myrtle.”

Shinichi _knew_ that tone. Kaito had the same specific, deadly calm tone he sometimes used when Shinichi was in trouble and Kaito was about to tear into him. It was the same tone his mother had, the one that made Shinichi instinctively wanted to hide. On the rare occasion he heard his mother used that tone, it always, _always_ ended up with Kudou Yuusaku sleeping in their library coach.

“You’re not going to say anything to anyone,” Kaito continued, in that coldly serene tone. “Nor are you going to visit this bathroom again… well,” he added, smiling, “At least until we’ve graduated.”

His confident tone and pose was enough to shut Myrtle. It was quite an amazing feat to achieve, considering he was standing completely naked inside a bubble-filled pool. The ghost floated above them, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Yes I would,” she tried to bluff, but Shinichi could tell Kaito had unnerved her. “You can’t stop me!”

Kaito shrugged, still smiling. “Well, no.”

Before Myrtle could crow in satisfaction, Kaito continued on, blithe. “But you see… Helena Ravenclaw’s going to have her 1000th Deathday Party next year. _Everyone’s_ going to be there. The preparations had started two months ago… It would be huge, of course. A fairy band is going to play, I hear…”

“What are you talking about?” Myrtle gasped.

“Oh? You don’t know?” Kaito cocked an eyebrow. “Of course. She hasn’t sent the invitations yet… It would be such a shame, wouldn’t it Myrtle, if you don’t get invited? I’m on very good terms with the Grey Lady. After all, what would people say?” he mocked, throwing his voice high, impersonating the Fat Friar. “Myrtle’s not invited? Oh ho!” Lowering his voice in a rasp, he then mimicked the Bloody Baron, “She’s so unpopular, nobody wants her here…”

Myrtle’s eyes were huge now, Shinichi noted with a sense of vindictive amusement. Kaito wasn’t finished.

“It’s the event of the _millennia_ , it’s in her home, and _she’s not even invited_?” Kaito threw in a faux gasp of surprise, mimicking a gossipy woman’s voice.

“Stop it!” she cried, splotches of silver appearing on her cheeks.

“You would lose face, Myrtle,” Kaito drove in. “Everyone’s going to talk about you for _centuries_ to come. Are you sure you want that?”

“You’re bluffing,” the ghost sniffled. “The Grey Lady will invite me!”

Kaito shrugged. “Not if you go around spreading rumors about me and Shinichi. She likes me, and you’ll be tainting her house. I’m sure I can easily persuade her _not_ to invite you.”

Myrtle was speechless, horror on her face.

“But,” Kaito continued, his voice gentle now. “If you keep this incident to yourself, and stay away, I’ll make sure you’ll get to attend the party, Myrtle. I’ll take you as my plus one, if I have to. I promise.”

Myrtle was completely flushed now, in anger or close to another crying fit, Shinichi couldn’t tell. But Kaito’s words clearly had the desired effect. He could practically see her thinking, weighing the risk in her head, before nodding stiffly.

“All right. I won’t tell,” she said. “But if you back on your words, Kuroba Kaito, I’ll haunt you for the rest of eternity!”

“Don’t worry, I’m a man of my words,” Kaito replied easily.

With a last harrumph, Myrtle floated away. Shinichi waited for a few moments to make sure she was truly gone before pulling Kaito into a hug.

“You’re amazing!”

His boyfriend laughed. “Not really. I just happened to have the right bargaining chip.”

“Still,” Shinichi smiled, kissing his cheek. “What would I do without you?”

“Be the laughing stock of the school, apparently,” Kaito teased. “But then again, you won’t be caught in such a _scandal_ otherwise, so…”

“But seriously,” Shinichi smiled. “Thanks for saving our asses there, Kaito.”

“You’re welcome,” Kaito easily replied.

“Come on,” Shinichi sighed, climbing out of the pool and grabbed the white towels, drying off. “Let’s call it a day. I’ll walk you back.”

“Yeah, she’d ruined the mood,” Kaito frowned, but he followed Shinichi out and accepted the towel the Gryffindor handed him.

They left for the Ravenclaw Tower, carefully made their way through the empty corridors. Shinichi held Kaito’s hand the whole way, despite knowing that such an act drastically lowers their stealth, but not caring either way. They had done this a lot over the years that it was nearly a reflex at that point, treading softly on the carpet, checking every corner before turning, their movements in sync.

On the west side of the fifth floor, they climbed up the spiral staircase and stopped at a nondescript plain door with a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle. Kaito knocked, and the knocker spoke, “What is light as a feather, but no man can hold?”

“A breath,” Shinichi answered easily.

“A precious thing,” the knocker replied, and the door swung easily open.

“You should be a Ravenclaw,” Kaito commented as they entered the airy common room.

It was well past curfew, and the room was completely empty. They made their way towards the stairs behind the Ravenclaw statue.

“The Sorting Hat did consider it for me,” Shinichi admitted. “I’ll admit, I like the knocker better than the Fat Lady. She always gave me hell whenever I get back late.”

Kaito chuckled as they stopped in front of his dorm door. Shinichi bent down to kiss the laugh, softly slotting his lips over Kaito’s.

“Would you like to spend the night?” Kaito murmured, face flushed.

Shinichi smiled at him. “Sure.”

Tomorrow was a Sunday. They had no classes so he could afford to sleep in and enjoy the morning. Kaito’s roommates would complain, no doubt, but the idea of waking up with Kaito in his arms was too appealing for him to care. Besides, it wasn’t like they were being disruptive. They always kept their voices low as not to disturb the other sleeping students.

“Were you bluffing? About the party,” Shinichi asked as he changed into Kaito’s pajamas, slipping into bed.

“Nah,” Kaito replied, snuggling against him. “The Grey Lady _did_ invite me. Informally, of course, but I’m already excited to see it. It’s a big event, Shinichi, I don’t want us to miss it.”

“Looks like you’re going with Moaning Myrtle as your date now, though,” Shinichi teased wryly.

Kaito yawned. “I’ll talk to Helena tomorrow. Myrtle should get her own invitation, and then I can take _you_ as my plus one.”

“I’m still surprised that the Grey Lady talk at all. She’s always so… silent.”

Kaito hummed, eyes slipping closed. “She talks to us Ravenclaws all the time. And I’m just a people person.”

“You are,” Shinichi agreed easily. “You were great, seriously. You handled Myrtle with no problem… Why did you promise to make her stay away, though? You sure you want to use the bathroom again after all this?”

“Because,” Kaito smirked that mischievous grin Shinichi loved so much. “We’re _totally_ going to use the diving board again.”

**Author's Note:**

> In any universe, Kaito will always have a love of gems! I know I’m kinda mean to Chikage here, but to be honest I dislike the fact that she left Kaito all alone. That’s basically neglect! In fact, the Kudous did the same, and that’s not okay with me… In my mind, Shinichi and Kaito would totally spend every spare moment roaming Hogwarts, trying to discover every passageways and castle secrets. That’s totally what I would do if I ever had the chance to visit Hogwarts! But alas, I had to make due in the games. I love the fifth and sixth year Harry Potter games had such a realistic Hogwarts that we can explore!


End file.
